Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
