Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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