Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
