brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
