thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
