What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize