I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize