We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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