singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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