How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh god it's open bar.
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