Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
