On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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