He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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