soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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