that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
