Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
