spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
