Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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