The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
