Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
