I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
