OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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