Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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