Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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