physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize