we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
