I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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