Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
