dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
