it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
