Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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