You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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