Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
