i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Help. Why am I so naked?
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