I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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