Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
