is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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