Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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