You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
