I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
