I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
