Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize