Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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