I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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