I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
