This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
