Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
