Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
