you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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