Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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