in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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