your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
