I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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