party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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