I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
