We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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