I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
