How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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