Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
