He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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